I was standing at a distance watching her laughing, smiling , giggling. I find peace in those sounds. I kept my eyes on her.

A heavy masculine voice broke my thoughts making me frown.

"Anirudh", Saurabh called me. He is my childhood friend. We both studied at same school, same college. We even work at same place. Just that he is under me.

He knew my attraction towards her, "Still can't forget her?", he smiled.

"You think I can?", I shrugged.

He turned towards me with a serious face now. "you need to but, don't forget you a married to saudamini".

This is what I hate about him. He makes me hit reality everytime. Can't he let me live in my dreamy land for once? I know I am married and now getting attracted towards a girl who is fourteen is forbidden but does my heart knows this? Even my father didn't care about my feelings.

"I know! Can you please stop reminding me that", I sounded irritated, a lot. "Don't forget your responsibility towards saudamini".

I looked at Bondita, that lovely smile made me smile too and then turned towards him and scoffed,"I am not . I know that".

He looked towards Bondita, "I can see that". "please saurabh don't act like my father, he forced me into this mess. I didn't go by my choice" . My only friend not understanding my point was making me helpless.

He looked at me as if it was a hopeless argument. "I know. Ani, but i don't want you to ruin your career at this early age because of love". 'love", no noo. This isn't love. Yess i do feel an attraction but not love.

"That's not love just an attraction", i tried not to maintain eyecontact with him. I don't know but u felt as if I lied to my only friend.

"You are confusing your ownself My dear friend. First understand the relationship you want with Bondita and then only you will be able to make your married life happy". This pang my heart, married life ? Which married life, the one which got no emotions? A marriage life which is just a family agreement for me. Maybe this married life. Thanks to my father.

I know that girl is innocent but what is my fault? When my heart isn't ready to accept her as my wife what can I do? Why am I forced to. I wanted to cry. I wish someone could just hug me tight, I would have melt.

"Anirudh, are you okay? , a voice called out, i know who is this. My sukoon. I looked at her with unknown emotions.

She looked heaven, "Actually I need to reach home early, my Wife must be waiting for me", saurabh little pressured on wife. I know why but trust me right now I don't care.

Bondita smiled at him and he left. This girl is so pure , so innocent. I wish I could stop time right now.

"What did he say that made you cry?, she questioned with those deep ocean eyes. I swear I can happily drawn in them. "nothing serious", I say trying to finish this conversation. I can't tell her anything, she is already upset with me because of so many things. I can't add even more now.

She scoffed, "whose fool you try to make , Ani?", she said being serious. "I can see those tears in your eyes, till when are you gonna hide from me?".

"What hide, Bondita ?, I smiled looking at her. This girl knows me better than anyone. She notices even a slightest discomfort in me. Unlike my wife, I don't blame her but yess i do blame my father . He ruined both of our lives.

She scoops my face in her hands and licks her lower lips. Damn i wish I wish I could.... No no no.. she is fourteen. God damnn.

She smiled and looked at me as if I am her favourite sight, "you look cute , you look Mine", she says .

"Bondita.. no", I try to stop but she puts her fingers in my lips and I kept mum. "Dont you think we make a beautiful pair? Don't you think you deserve happiness?", somewhere those ocean eyes were becoming wet, " I have you as my dear friend, what more happiness do I need?", I smiled. "Just a friend? Nothing more?", she insisted.

I know what she wanted to hear but how can I tell her? Just how. First she is too young and then comes She. The woman who is been tied to my fate now.

"I am married Bondita", he hesitated. I know this breaks her heart but what can I do more. That's the final truth. She looked at me being hurt, this made my heart even more sad.

"Go Anirudh, she must be waiting", she smiled with teary eyes. Oh god, i want to hold her so tight.

"No one is waiting for me", I say. "But she is, your wife. A woman who can't even cook a chapati for you . But you want her. Obviously she must be more beautiful than me. Right!", she yelled making my eyes close. "No, you are the most beautiful girl".

"Exactly,I am a girl . And she is a woman. I know I am young but not that much Anirudh . I know what's the relationship of a man and woman, Go to her" , she yelled with hurt. I know I am hurting her but...... but I am helpless . I want to tell her how much precious she is but how.

"You are taking this wrong way now, Bondita" .

"Tell me the right way then Anirudh . Please tell me. Tell me you don't love her. Tell me Anirudh" , she pleaded with those innocent eyes.

"You think I can?", I say with calm voice. " I don't want you to", she cried holding me. I embraced her in hug. This girl is definitely something beyond. I smiled. She gets angry one me, she yells on .e. and then she hugs me only, I looked at her, she is innocent a lot. Her warmth is home.

I went home and did not find Saudamini. It made me happy . Tbh, I did not wanted to face her right now. J just wanted to be alone in my study.

"Saudamini went to meet her friend near by village. She told me she will be home by even", my kaka told me.

"Although I didn't ask but thankyou", I say with a forced smiled.

"Till when are you gonna stay angry with everyone Anirudh? It's been 1 month to your marriage and yet you didn't talked with Binoy even for once"

"What do you want me to converse Kaka? How much happy I am with this marriage then I am really sorry to let you know I am just not happy even a bit. And about Baba, What should I talk with him about that how good he made me pay my debt of not being his own child ?"

"Anirudh!", kaka got Angered.

"What. Truth is truth kaka. Please leave me alone now".

"I can bear your wrath but don't say that again. You are son of Binoy and eldest son of Roy Chowdhury and that's it. I bought you up with so much love." And with that kaka went leaving that innocent baby crying alone.

He never wanted to make his kaka sad. He loves him so much but what can he do. His emotions are not even in his control anymore. With others he fights because they made him get marry to a complete stranger and with Bondita he fights because she tells him to fight for his love.

Being so engrossed in his thoughts, when sleep engulfed him, he didn't knew. Moon shone bright that night. She was looking at it praying to be with him someday. Wanting to hug him and sleep with actual peace. Night was too long, silent, to lonely.